Mind Doodles

Finishing Well

My mom retires today.  For the past 30+ years (I can't actually remember exactly how many) she has been a medical technologist at St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  She's really good at what she does.  They've been really lucky to have her.  Over the past few years I have been trying to get her to quit and go to another hospital because the other hospitals pay more.  But she wouldn't because St. Francis is a training hospital and she has gotten to have an impact on many, many students. She's a great mentor. There are a lot of fantastic medical technologists out there that have been influenced by my mom. But really, the main reason she hasn't left is because she is loyal.

That's one of her best characteristics. . .Loyalty.  She has lots of good ones, but her loyalty really stands out. 

Several years ago the church I grew up in began having some trouble.  All of my mom's friends started jumping ship.  Not her.  She stuck it out.  She stayed with it through the tough times, because she's loyal.  I can't tell you all the times she's stood by me and my brother through difficult times.  I can't imagine what I would have done without her.  My family is crazy about her.  My kids know that Grandma is always there for them. 

So, today she begins a new chapter in her life.  She loves to travel, so I know she'll be burning up the road.  We'll probably even see her out this way a time or two. 

I'm thankful for the woman she is.  I'm so glad for how she helped to shape me in to who I am.  I'm still learning from her all the time.  I wish I could be there with her today as they honor her at work.  I know that her friends will throw her a good party.  And I really look forward to what God has in store for her as she continues this journey. 

I know that she's ready for wherever He takes her. Way to go, Mom! You're awesome!

The Gang

Here we are last night in one of the main sessions.

So, this afternoon, we are listening to Donald Miller. He's fun to listen to. His book, Blue Like Jazz is a really thought provoking book, if you haven't read it.

There's a great evening session planned and then we're off to dinner. We're going out to enjoy a great meal together and celebrate me--it's my birthday!

Orange?

Today has been a great day. I've spent it hanging out with some of my very favorite people--the Children's Ministry Team! This morning, we got up and drove to Atlanta for a few days to attend the Orange Conference. We're going to hear some incredible speakers, get some fresh ideas and just spend some time dreaming big about children's ministry. What a great time!

We've already laughed so much that my sides hurt. It's 1:00 a.m. Things start at 9:00 in the morning, but, no one wants to go to bed yet. We're having too much fun.

I'll keep you posted. We've got a jam packed day tomorrow. Can't wait to see what we are going to learn.

Things We've Done Wrong as Parents #4

See--I told you that this was a never ending list. 
I must qualify this post right away and say that this one belongs entirely to me.  My husband has had no part in this one.  I take all of the responsibility for this failure. 

Getting too involved in our kids' homework

It's been many years since I have had a night like last night, (or a morning like this morning).  In fact, it takes me all the way back to my college days.  I pulled an all-nighter.  Well, almost.  It was after 4:00 a.m. when I headed to bed.  Now, those of you who know me well, know that I literally begin shutting down at 9:00 p.m.  So, how in the world did this happen? 

Well, this morning Courtney's research paper was due at school.  Courtney has one major problem when writing papers.  She is a gifted writer so the actual writing is not a problem for her.  She is diligent about studying and digging for the answers so having enough research is never a problem.  She uses excellent grammar in her writing so rarely is a correction needed.  . . But the child can honestly not type.  I mean she really can't.  At 10:15 when I went in to check on her, she had gotten 1 1/2 pages done.  She had typed the entire thing with one finger.  I could tell that it was beginning to bog her down, so, I told her I'd give her an hour or two of my typing to help her out.  I sat down at the computer and she began dictating to me.  She wrote and rewrote as I typed and retyped.  Literally 5 1/2 hours later the 14 page paper was completed. 

While I'm glad that I was able to relieve a major stress from her and she was able to see that I am all for her, I wish that I could step back in these cases and let the chips fall where they may.  It's hard for me.  So, over the years I've had my ups and downs when it comes to homework involvement.  Most of the time I am the nagger. . ."Have you gotten your work done?  Have you studied enough for your test?"  It's crazy.  What would happen if I wasn't on their backs all the time about it? 

They might fail.

Would that be so bad?  I doubt it.  In fact, they'd probably do that only once.  Then, they'd pick it up and be better for the experience.

One of my all time favorite parenting experts, John Rosemond, addresses this in his book Ending the Homework Hassle.  Yes, I've read it.  It's fabulous!  Yes, I've had made lots of changes over the years.  Yes, I still struggle. 

Maybe, one day I'll learn.  I've still got a few years to redeem myself.

 

Mean Girls

What's the deal with all the mean girls lately?  I mean twice in the past month I've seen news stories highlighting this new phenomenon among teenage girls--invite your friend over, beat them up and then film it for all to see????  If you haven't been following it, check out the latest of the stories here.

I had a couple of mean girl experiences when I was young.--No, I wasn't the mean girl--I was the victim.  I used to run around with this girl who thought it was fun to out-of-the blue "start a war" against someone at school.  She'd decide which girl it was, and then everyone AND I MEAN EVERYONE would be mean to that girl for the day.  For absolutely no reason. 

Now, I wasn't totally innocent because I played right along and gave the "chosen one" the cold shoulder right along with the rest of the gang.  In the book, Queen Bees and Wanna Bees,  I would be the one called the "sidekick".  I was never the one calling the shots but I was always the one to go along with the Queen Bee--not something I'm proud of.  But, it was what it was. 

That is, until I was the "girl of the day"..  I remember showing up for school and sensing right away that I no longer belonged.   It started out subtly, but by morning recess, it was a full blown war.  A petition was circulated with the letters WHD at the top.  This stood for We Hate DuBose (my name back then).  By the end of the day, they presented it to me "as a memento".  As I remember, the names covered both sides of the paper.  I kept that paper hidden in my dresser drawer for years.  Just pulling it out and looking at it made me sick to my stomach. 

The next morning at school, everything was back to normal.  I was back "in". How does that happen?   Every girl I know has been hurt by her girlfriends at one time or another.  What makes me most angry about my experience is that I let it be okay.  Why didn't I stand up to those girls and refuse to be a part of their group, especially after what I had experienced?   I guess it just goes to show you how desperate kids are to be in the "in" crowd. 

I'll share my other mean girl experience with you later.  I'll also give you a list of resources to help your child navigate some of these realities of adolescence.

Isn't She Lovely?

As parents, we have crossed over into a new frontier--Dating.  Not us, our daughter.  Actually, it has been going on for a while now, so we are over the initial shock.  But, this weekend was a new "first" for us--Prom.  Here are some photos of the handsome couple.  They had a great time.  I think they'll remember it forever--so will we.

The getaway car--Pretty nice, huh?

Environments--Making every moment count

I think one question we should always revisit is "why we do what we do?"
Whether it's within the context of a marriage, or how we parent, or how
we run a business, if we don't keep this question in front of us constantly,
it's easy to lose sight of the vision of what we're trying to accomplish.

We try to do the same thing in Children's Ministry-making sure we're very
intentional about every detail, decision, and policy so that it we can be
the absolute most effective we can with the hour we share in a child's
life each week.

Our goal is to create an irresistible, fun environment where kids can
discover the reality of Jesus and His love in ways they can understand. And
so, we've structured Sunday morning with that purpose in
mind.

Therefore, 15 minutes before service begins....

the doors are open and kids are welcomed into their classes.  Each child goes to an age appropriate class because that is the environment that is created exactly for them.  This is when they have the opportunity to connect with other kids their age and adults who are invested in them.  During this activity time, we try to have a range of activities that would appeal to all types of kids, so that there is always something that will engage each child.

At the beginning of the hour, they begin an intentional KIDS CONNECT time with their small group leader. 
During this time, kids are still arriving.  We know that sometimes things are crazy on Sunday mornings for families.  So, we want to give you some extra time to get settled.  For 15 minutes into the service, we are still accepting kids into the classes.

15 minutes after the service has begun, we move our classes to the large group storytelling room.  At this time, the doors to the lobby are shut and no one is admitted until the children have returned to their individual classes.  We do this for two really important reasons: 
1.  For the safety of the kids as they move from place to place. 
2.  To provide the very best storytelling environment with minimal distractions. 

During this 25-30 minutes, they sing songs that are just perfect for their age.  (Maybe you have heard your child singing some of these songs around the house.) Then, they get to hear and participate in an incredible story that engages them on many different levels.  It's absolutely awesome!  If you haven't been a part of it yet, we'd love for you to come and hang out with us. 

After the story, the kids all return to the classrooms for their small group time.  This is when the small group leader drives the lesson home--we call it the "so what" time.  I heard a great story, "so what" does this mean to me? 
Then, before we know it, parents are arriving to take them home. 

So, while I recognize at times, policies and guidelines can seem like
unnecessary red tape, Crosspointe parents-thanks for being on mission with
us. Thanks for trusting our intent to create the absolute best environment
possible every Sunday morning. And thanks for partnering with us to help
make Sunday morning irresistibly fun and relevant to children in every way
as we help them discover and walk with Jesus.

Environments--Creating a Great Space

Creating a great environment for kids is something we really value at Crosspointe. We want kids to walk in and say "Wow! This is where I want to hang out!" Before anything on Sunday is created and experienced, many hours have gone into the thought process of planning every single aspect of the morning. The reason this matters is because we only have 1 hour with these kids. That's it! The first impression kids have will determine their attitude for the next hour, so we want them to enjoy being with us from the start. If we want to make an impression, it starts with the environment.

So, here's some evidence of the work that has gone on behind the scenes to make this Sunday a home run for our WOW kids. Let me tell you--our prop team rocks!

Using scraps to create something new!

The team in action

The finished product! Isn't it awesome! WAY TO GO TEAM!!!!

More on environments later. . .

A Baby's Man

My husband is great with babies. People would never guess it--he doesn't seem like the type. But, he is. He makes all kinds of fun noises that entertain them. He has the "pat" down that calms them. He just really has an innate sense of knowing what they need. The other night, we got to babysit our friends' son, Jonathan. He was happiest with Greg, as you can see. Now you know why we failed with the whole bedtime thing. Babies like to go to sleep on Greg.

You see what I mean?

What We Did Wrong as Parents #3

Not planning ahead for college.

This week, we have been doing visits to colleges. Kelsey is a junior and her college guidance counselor is telling us she needs to have applied for the college she wants by October. So, here's a rundown of the costs for some colleges that are nearby:

UNC-Chapel Hill $15,796 per year
Elon $29,320 per year (her first choice at this point)
Davidson $40,814 per year
NC State $15,197 per year

We're thinking Wake Tech looks good. Greg is trying to "influence" Kelsey into going to welding school!

The lesson? It's never too early to start saving. The costs are only going up. Check this out on my friend, Justin's, website. There are some really good tips here.