Mind Doodles

KIDSpace is coming!!

This Sunday, June 1, is KIDSpace! 

 

KIDSpace is an event designed for your whole family. 

Using comedy, sketches, zany situations, great music, and Biblical truths, KIDSpace is full of laughs, fun, and great moments.  It's not just for the kids (but don't tell them that).  It's really for the parents, because it helps you connect to what your children are learning and gives you a great shared experience to discuss.
Hey!  It's also a great opportunity to invite friends.

We'll start with some fun activities outside (don't forget the sunscreen) at 3:30.  There will be some inflatables, really great music and some killer snacks (okay, no nutrition involved).  You'll have a chance to hang out, visit with friends, play with your kids, dance and eat.  

Then, at 5:00, we'll move into the main auditorium for a one hour show focused on the virtue of COURAGE. It's going to be awesome.  You can always count on our team to do something off the wall--especially Nick and Dave.

And don't forget to check out the Family Time Virtue Pack, which is available at the resource table for $8.00. It takes a close look at the virtue of COURAGE and gives you the tools to talk about it with your kids:  at meal time, at bedtime, during the day, and even during the many hours in the car.  It gives you, the parent, the chance to have the biggest impact on your child's spiritual development!  

Can't wait!  Hope to see you there!

Something I love about my kids. . .

Their friends. 

I know, that's not really about my kids. . .but it is.  I love it that they know how to pick really great friends.  Right now, my girls are upstairs laughing with one of their school friends--Annetta.  Annetta and Kelsey started in school together and they've been friends ever since--10 years later.  They play soccer together--all three of them.  But, mostly they laugh together.  I love that. 

Tomorrow, Courtney is meeting up with her special friend, Jenna, for a weekend at the lake.  I love her family so much and have complete confidence in them.  There's never a question when they ask Courtney to go away for the weekend.  And there's no place Courtney would rather be or no one she'd rather be with.

I can honestly say that we love every one of our girls' friends--school friends and church friends--girl friends and boy friends. 

I'm so thankful.  I'm glad they get how important it is to choose your friends wisely. 
So, if you're one of the parents of one of my girls' friends--great job!  We're crazy about your kids!

"May"hem

Maybe you've noticed.  May is as crazy (if not crazier) than December without the presents!  Our family has been running NON-STOP all month.  The girls have finals this week and then they are done for the year.  I must say that I am ready.  We need a little break.  So, anyway, all this to say--that's why I've been such a lousy blogger.  I'll try to pick it up this week. 

Things We Did Right as Parents #1

Okay, so I've told several of you that I would begin this listing although there will be fewer of these than my other list of "Things We've Done Wrong".  But, now that we are nearing the end of our "hands on" parenting years, I can look back and see that there really were a few things that we miraculously did right. 

#1--Stuck to our guns when it came to discipline.

In an age where this subject is all over the spectrum--sometimes discipline can be difficult.  It was for us, too.  We had a lot of friends and family that were at the same stage of parenting as we were.  It's so easy to get caught in the comparison game.  But, we made a decision early on how we would handle discipline and we stood by it, even when it seemed unpopular among those around us.

So, for the record--yes, we spanked.  But regardless of the type of discipline you use, the most important thing is to be consistent--to follow through--every time.  I know how hard that is.  Sometimes it's just easier to overlook the infraction than to deal with it. (It always seems to happen when you are in public or at a friend's house, doesn't it?)  But, ignoring it never pays off in the end.  So, my encouragement is to make a plan, communicate the plan and jump into it with both feet.

Something that helped to keep me from blowing my stack and over-reacting in many cases was to always ask the question,  "Was this childish irresponsibility or willful disobedience?"  We had a zero tolerance level when it came to willful disobedience but TRIED to give grace in issues of childish irresponsibility.

We didn't always get it right.  But we always tried to keep in mind that the main goal is to train the heart of the child.   

Now, my kids tease me and say that the way I discipline is by threatening to write about them on my blog.  I say--whatever works.

What Scares You?

KidSpace is coming up June 1! This time, we will be focusing on the virtue of COURAGE. So, here's something to think about. Do you have any weird phobias? Unusual things that you are afraid of? There may be an opportunity for you to share these at the event, so be thinking about it.

I have several--I'm a pretty extreme person--with lots of issues.
One thing I'm afraid of. . . when someone has something wrapped around the end of their finger. It sends me over the edge!

More Mean Girls

Okay--I said that I would fill you in on my second mean girl experience as a child. 

I was in the 8th grade and it all centered around a boy--surprise, surprise.  A 9th grader, named Barney V. (yes, his name was really Barney) liked me.  I didn't like him--although he was a great guy.  But, Regina H. (the mean girl) liked him and was really ticked off at me.  She used to send me notes, yell at me in the hall, push me on the stairs, and corner me whenever possible.    Of course, none of these things made her any more attractive to Barney. 

One day I went into my Home Economics class.  We each had a sewing drawer where we kept our current project.  We were working on our outfits for the spring fashion show and mine was really great.  No, it really was!  It was a classic 70s butterfly sleeve dress.  (Of course, this was in the 70s!)  I was so proud of it.  It was the best thing I had ever made.  When I went to get it out of my drawer, I could see that something was wrong immediately.  My dress was completely slashed up.  Someone had taken scissors to the whole thing and had destroyed it. 

Guess who?--Regina H.--Yep, she did it. 

My teacher took my dress home and did a miracle job on it.  I was able to wear it in the fashion show, but I wasn't able to wear it again.  And Regina--well, she got suspended.  And, she never did get the guy.

It's amazing how many kids deal with these kind of experiences every day at school.  Most of them never talk about it with their parents or teachers until they are totally stressed out by it.  That's the way it was for me, too.

As a parent , I have dealt with this as well.  Both of my girls have had "mean girl" situations that they have faced.  Both of them kept it from us.  With Kelsey, I started noticing some depression in her, that forced me to probe a little harder than usual.  With Courtney, I was informed by a teacher that this was going on.  I wish that I had been more in tune with them, but, we can't always know what's going on in their world.  But, I'd just say, that when your instincts tell you that something is not right with your child, most often they are on to something and you should investigate. 

I've read a couple of books that have addressed bullying in girls.  They were really insightful.  Maybe they'll be helpful to you as well.

Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. In this book, the author offers parents a guide to navigating the adolescent landscape. She helps parents understand their daughters' friendships, the power of cliques and the roles of girls within them.

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons. The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of "I'm fat."

Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons. Girls write about bullies, cliques, popularity and jealousy.

Mean Girls: Facing Your Beauty Turned Beast by Hayley DiMarco. Mean Girls is a call to spiritual strength. A call to stand firm. It calls girls to face the beasts in their lives head on. In short, it's the answer girls need for the problem they never thought could go away.

Conference Champs!

Woo Hoo! My girls rock! Actually their whole team rocks! Last night, their school, Trinity Academy of Raleigh, won their conference championship! It was a rough game, but they pulled it out.
And I was so proud of my girls! They're smart, beautiful AND tough on the field.
Kelsey is a rock solid defensive player and Courtney is the midfielder that keeps on going!

Check it out!

What a team!!!

My two favorite players.

Their biggest fan!

"Aroma" Therapy

My sister-in-law, Shelly, does not have a sense of smell.  We have discussed it at length over the years.  She's never known any difference, so to her it's normal.  We've often wondered if food tastes as good to her as it does to me.  I've heard that the sense of smell and the sense of taste are tied closely together.  When she was in high school in Kenai, Alaska, she had a summer job working at a fish canning factory.  Yuck!  I can't even imagine how horrible the smell must have been.  But it didn't bother Shelly at all.  I guess there are some advantages.   

There is one thing about not having the sense of smell that I would really miss. . . remembering.  Helen Keller, who was both blind and deaf, said this about smell:

"Smell is a potent wizard that transports us across thousands of miles and all the years we have lived.  The odors of fruits waft me to my southern home, to my childhood frolics in the peach orchard.  Other odors, instantaneous and fleeting, cause my heart to dilate joyously or contract with remembered grief.  Even as I think of smells, my nose is full of scents that start awake sweet memories of summers gone and ripening fields far away."

This morning I had one of those moments where the scent took me back in time.  It was the smell of freshly cut grass.  I instantly remember Saturday mornings growing up doing yard work with my family.  In a reflective spirit, I thought of other scents that bring the past rushing back to my memory.

The beginning of a spring rain--always makes me think of Ludowici, Georgia at my Granny's house.

Lilac bushes in full bloom--early summer in Tulsa

Musty leaves in the woods--girl scout camp

Sugar and butter cooking on the stove top--my mom's praline candies

Bread baking--the Wonderbread Bakery in my neighborhood when I was growing up

Popcorn--the baseball fields where we spent our Saturday mornings in Tampa

The other day, we took Kelsey to visit Catawba College.  It's a beautiful, old campus.  The buildings, for the most part are old, with plenty of character.  When we walked in to one of those buildings, I was suddenly hit by a memory that came out of nowhere.  I looked at Greg and said, this building smells like the Administration Building at our college.  He agreed. 

It's remarkable how smell awakens distant memories--and remembering is so powerful.