You can tell a lot about a person by the friends they hang around. Over the years I have had friends that breathed life into me and challenged me to be a better person. I have also had friends that brought out my worst...friends that dragged me down.
Now, I take full responsibility for my actions. Those friends never "made me" have a bad attitude or do anything wrong. I made all those choices myself. But, definitely, their influences helped to guide me.
I guess that's why Solomon, the wisest man in the world said,
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm (Prov 13:20)
When my children were younger and I noticed a negative attitude seeping in or bad habits, or disrespectful speech, I could often trace it back to a current companion or group of people that were influencing them.
As parents, we cannot underestimate the role the friendship factor plays in shaping our children. Lots of times, parents are hesitant to step in and take an active role when it comes to influencing their child's peer group. But, this is critical. As children get older, it becomes more difficult to help direct them as they begin to prioritize peer approval over parent approval.
But, the real reason I started this post was because of the fruit I have been able to see in my own girls lives. Over the years, Greg and I have kept a pretty tight reign on them when it came to managing their peer group. We have watched for warning signs indicating that they were associating with "high-risk" peers. We were called over-protective and even criticized for sheltering our girls. But, here's what I know for sure.....
You are who you hang out with.
And as I look at the group of friends that have been Kelsey and Courtney's peer support system over the years, I couldn't be more pleased.
They have some pretty incredible friends. Girls that I would welcome into my family as my own.
This point was again driven home this past weekend. After an evening out, Greg and I arrived home to a surprise.....Kelsey and 2 of her college girlfriends. They had originally planned to go to the lake for spring break. But, they changed their minds and decided to do a surprise "hometown tour". First stop--Cary, North Carolina! We had never met Kelsey's friends but fell in love with them at once. They were exactly the kind of friends that we would pick for her ourselves.
Our Samford Girls
So, I'm here to say this...it was worth it. I'm so glad that we made our parental "vote" count when it came to our children's circle of friends. I want our children to have the same kind of friends that we desire for ourselves...the life-breathing kind...those who call us to be a better version of ourselves.
That wise old guy, Solomon, said it this way--
You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another (prov 27:17)
I'm going to spend some time posting a little about this topic over the next week. There are several really good resources out there to help us as we try to wade through this territory.
